Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

Why is North Korea a jail?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why am I tired all the time?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some things that children used to wait for, but are no longer common in today's society?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

States With the Most Generous Tippers - Newser

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How good is KIIT school of management at Bhubaneswar?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why won't my mom let me come home if I'm homeless?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Can the right person make a narc want to change their ways? Is love that powerful? Has anyone seen this or experience it?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do men first look at a woman's chest instead of their face?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink